Aimless Soul

It seems like they have a higher expectation on me than I thought. Let see, this is really going to be hard for me because I really don't know what should I become at the moment. Pathetic, ain't I? I have lived for 22 years and after this 22 years of immature life only I found out that I'm actually an aimless soul.

God, I'm sorry to only find you when I'm in trouble.. but please tell me what should I do? Please give me some directions. I just hate to hang around aimlessly like now. It seems like nothing I'm doing now is right.

I met up a friend today, she asked me when I want to find a permanent proper job instead of tutoring like now. The only answer I can give was I don't want to be tied up by time. I don't want to be a slave of work. I hate office life. I hate working life somehow. But without it I can't survive. This never hit me until I called my mum just now and she suddenly came out the same question. I seriously didn't know how to answer her and won't know how to answer her.

It seems like all of my post are sad and emotional ones. Sigh.. I didn't mean to, I wish to have a happier life too.. but this is how my life is shaping.. How can I change them?

I'm not blaming my parents.. I love them so much.. but why can't I born to be richer? or why can't my parents born to be richer.. then our lives will be more wonderful I guess.. I just want to re-insist that I'm not resenting on my parents because I know by heart since I was a girl that they have done their very very best to give me good life.. I love them..