Why me?

Why me? Why must I be alone again and again and again.. just when I thought I have some little hope and the little hope was gone within 1 day.. I just wanna love and be loved.... why me again? Why treat me like this? Want me to be empty forever huh? How long must I endure this loneliness?  It's been 4 years....! Enough!!

monday blues

hi guys~ it's monday again.. if i got the chance to own a company somehow i will think of a way to kill my staff's monday blues.. lol.. hmm.. ya.. it blues as usual.

this morning wasn't a good day, public transport sucked this morning.. sigh. the only thing i resented coming to work this far is public transport..waiting for it and stuck in the crowd.. i hate crowd.. but every point i stop to wait for my train is indeed very crowded.

我觉得我自己最近越来越懒散了..好像越来越讨厌工作..天啊我还要做多少年才会得到真正的休息时间..人就是这样有事没事都在埋怨生活 :(

=(

Am I really that bad? Am I? Fee is not rising and I'm still using the same fundamental book.. Haven't been told to change yet.. which means I play badly during class.. sigh.. =(

爸爸的心声

今天爸爸和我说心事。听了之后我才发现爸爸原来很爱妈妈因为爸爸很疼妈妈，就算自己受委屈也往肚子里吞。然后就觉得妈妈很自私！我妈妈表面上会替我们想但实际上她很多时候只替自己想只是看她打麻将就知道了。她可以为了打麻将忘记了一个妈妈和一个母亲的责任，这个让我最最接收不到。最可恶的是她还要倒反过来责怪我们。很多时候对着他我真的无话可说。妈妈对她自己亲生的儿女特别疼爱，但是除了我之外她很偏心她他别疼大哥哥。在她眼里无论他做了什么就算不对也是对的。妈妈只想到自己的儿子女儿但从来没有想过爸爸的儿女，还天天煽风点火间接离间他们之间的感情。虽然他们当中有两个人没有对我妈妈好但是毕竟也是后母，难道全天下的后母都是这样吗？当初生活很贫困的时候大哥哥在中国因为没有工作所以整天想我们借钱，接了没有还。爸爸今天告诉我去年向他借钱妈妈却逼爸爸还。爸爸觉得很心痛因为他觉得为什么人家借了他的钱就不用还但是向这位借钱不还钱的人借钱却要还。而且爸爸最最心痛的是当爸爸想要那一笔钱出来帮助他现在有难的儿子的时候妈妈却一脸不欢喜，这一点令我爸爸很伤心因为他觉得他是应分帮自己的儿子却无能为力没有应分帮别人的儿子却一点都没有帮少。很可笑吧？由于很自己的儿女疏远了甚至没有联络，爸爸就只剩我一个了。突然觉得爸爸很孤单所以我一定要住在家里。我很爱妈妈也很爱爸爸但当我今天听了爸爸的心事后我就觉得妈妈对于整件有连接的事情都很不公平而且非常的自私。我当然就是那个从小到大左右为难的人了~

i wonder why..

i wonder why dad still wanna sell the house after all.. sigh.. i really don't wish to shift away anymore. it's really tiring to move here and there after all these years. since he decided what can i say?

人每天都会有可能遇到匪夷所思的事情

但在众多的匪夷所思

哪一件是最让你忘不了呢？

我的匪夷所思就是我的一期一会

心碎但许许多多的情节都让我难以忘怀~

not this but that..

"i am just an extra piece of this old set of jigsaw puzzle,

but i never give in, because i still have that set to fit into it perfectly"

i am just an extra piece of this old set of jigsaw puzzle. this jigsaw puzzle is my old friends and that extra piece is me. i don't know how to begin but i felt like i don't belong to their world anymore or maybe they don't belong to my world anymore. wait.. or should i put it this way? we don't really belong to each other world ever since we met? 

for a long time, i tried to fit into that world which is not my world. i tried hard but it didn't work out. just like that extra piece, i don't really fit into this set.. because that set is full and perfect but without that extra piece this completed set still look perfectly nice. 

how do you know you don't fit in? time proves everything. almost everything. one day, you will know what i mean. even so, i never give in, i might not fit into this set but i still have that set to fit in perfectly.

OMG!!

over budget over budget over budget!! 

i can't handle this.. i can't handle this!! >.<

不是一个人的人是永远都不会懂一个人孤单的滋味..

Loneliness is eating up my brain.

I can't think right now.

Ouch!

我

我想孤单是没得治的..

除了我自己，我，什么都没了。